The world becomes a very dangerous place when a leader’s morality is evaluated by how he or she treats one people but not by the way they treat another. It may seem obvious but a person can only be deemed ethical if they behave civilly and fairly to all people. Hitler tried to demonstrate that only some people deserve to be treated with dignity but the Jewish Biblical teaching of all people created in the Divine image demands that all humanity, irrespective of race, creed or religion be treated with respect and kindness. And so there was never a “good” Hitler, not even before 1939.
I spoke on April 2nd at MJE’s 15th Annual Dinner. This year we chose to honor Israel, and its importance and impact on not only myself my immediate family, but that which it has had on the MJE community and family as a whole. I’d like to share here the story I shared with those who were fortune enough to be able to join us for the dinner just a few nights ago. Standing at the podium sporting one of my favorite Lennon shirts, I spoke of a Sunday long ago that has stayed with me to this very day:
It was a Sunday afternoon in July of 2000 and 35 of us were gathered at Kennedy airport for the first ever MJE Trip to Israel. I saw one of the participants standing in a corner of the terminal, a guy in his 20’s w/ a large backpack swung across his shoulder. I went over to introduce myself. I said my name is Mark, I’m one of the Rabbis on the trip. He told me his name was Jonathan and that he had really had very little to do with Jewish life, and that this was his first trip to Israel. Like most of the others on the trip, Jonathan didn’t know a soul when it began. When I caught up with him on the return trip, he told me that felt now not only a phenomenally deep connection with the other members of our group and Israel, but also with Judaism itself. “A deep connection,” I thought to myself, from one trip? Even I was a little skeptical, but when Jonathan returned to NY he started to come around. He began to attend MJE classes, our Beginner’s service on Shabbat, and then very rapidly he became an entrenched part of the MJE community.
A year or so later he returned to Israel–this time to study–which he ended up doing for many years until he eventually received simcha from none other than Rabbi Shlomo Riskin, to whom we paid tribute at the Annual Dinner on April 2nd.
A few years ago, Jonathan officially made Aliyah, and he now lives in Israel with his wife Dena and their 3 beautiful children. He currently Co-directs the RRG Hillel Beit Midrash program at Hebrew University, reaching out to American students traveling to Israel for their first time just like he himself did back in 2000 on the first MJE trip. So many others from that first trip are today Sabbath-observant and sending their children to Jewish Day schools. I’m just speaking of those from the first MJE trip to Israel. We’ve had many more trips to follow, each and every year w/ over 400 participants in all, all of whom have been powerfully impacted in so many ways. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we chose to honor Israel. She is our mentor, our guide, our promised land. She is the mother, the teacher, who reaffirms in all of us what it means to be Jewish, and we carry that with pride.
In Israel you don’t just study or read about Jewish history, you see it. You live it.
Because Israel is the ultimate authentication of Judaism for the Diaspora Jew.
It backs up everything we’ve heard and provides us with evidence for all those stories we listened to growing up. It’s the embodiment of all the “reasons” we were told to be Jewish.
That our people, our land, and our faith are a living and breathing reality, and he wanted to be part of it.
We reflect on how Israel reminds all of us of our unique history and of our special connection to Hashem and His Torah.
Israel fills us with pride and serves as the greatest evidence for our Jewishness today. If the MJE trips to Israel have accomplished anything, it’s to bring this powerful message: Judaism is real and alive for ourselves and for hundreds of our Jewish brothers and sisters. MJE is proud to be here to help keep that message alive, and we hope to continue spreading it for years and years to come.
Rabbi Mark Wildes
On Saturday Night, November 23 I had the honor of presenting Professor Alan Dershowitz to over 600 people as the keynote speaker at MJE’s Annual Ruth B. Wildes’ Memorial Event. We were fortunate to capture the evening on film and so if you were unable to attend you can still experience some of the magic of the night. I found much of what Professor Dershowitz said to be truly pertinent, insightful and inspiring. Enjoy!
Our generation has seen this first hand but our generation is also witness to an amazing return to mitzvoth and Jewish life which is truly inspiring and which should also give us great hope for the future. The Pew study may get us down but let’s not forget the many young men and women who have returned to a life of Torah and mitzvoth. And as more of us engage in these activities our most cherished beliefs and values are brought to life. We reveal not only what is in our hearts but also what has been in the hearts of our parents and grandparents but which was never given adequate expression. Mitzvoth will not only bring purpose and meaning to our lives but they will help ensure the survival of the Jewish people. May we merit to perform the mitzvoth and in so doing serve as a link in the chain of the transmission of our Torah and in the eternal values it embodies.
This past Shabbat, November 23, my beloved mentor and Rebbe, Rabbi Joseph
Grunblatt, of blessed memory, passed away. The impact this great rabbinic
figure had on my life is almost impossible to put into words but he meant
too much for me not to try.
Rabbi Grunblatt was my Rabbi since the very day I was born. He assumed the
position as Rabbi of the Queens Jewish Center (QJC) in Forest Hills, Queens
where I am from, shortly before I was born in July of 1967. As he always
liked to say, my bris (circumcision) was the first simcha in the community
at which he officiated. He was similarly there for me at my bar-mitzvah, my
rabbinic ordination, my wedding, my mother’s funeral, and at all of my sons’
As far as I can remember our family was close with Rabbi Grunblatt. My
parents admired him greatly and treated the Rabbi and his Rebbetzin with the
utmost respect. We spent Shabbat meals at each other’s homes and I
especially loved delivering mishloach manot (food baskets) to the
Grunblatt’s on Purim because they would let each child pick their favorite
Rabbi Grunblatt hailed from Leipzig, Germany but spent his formative years
studying in London, England at the Eitz Chayim Yeshiva under the great Torah
scholar and ethicist Rabbi Elyah Lopian, whom he often quoted in his
sermons. In the United States, Rabbi Grunblatt studied at a number of
Yeshivot, most notably Torah Vodath where he received his rabbinic
ordination. He taught Jewish Philosophy at Touro College for many decades
and lectured throughout the country.
As a boy I could tell by the way everyone spoke of the Rabbi that he was a
serious scholar but I never really knew it for myself until I was about 18.
I had just returned from a year of Torah study in Israel and I decided to
remain in the synagogue for one of his sermons (I usually ran around with my
friends playing “bottle-cap soccer” in the auditorium) and I was blown away.
I realized that this rabbi, my Rabbi, had much to say and wow, could he say
it. I began attending other classes Rabbi Grunblatt was teaching and after
Shabbat I would try to jot down some of his thoughts from the sermon he
delivered that morning. The Rabbi was a master orator who was able to speak
his congregants’ language by weaving together the weekly Torah portion with
teachings from some of the great writers and thinkers, Jewish and non-Jewish
alike. Maimonides and Nachmanides were taught alongside Kant and Nietzsche
and somehow a pertinent and relevant message for our generation emerged.
Rabbi Grunblatt’s annual Shabbat Shuva (before Passover) lecture drew
hundreds from all over Queens. You had to get there at least 20 minutes
early to guarantee yourself a seat and there was something for everyone. The
Rabbi would usually begin his discourse with a Halachic (Jewish legal)
question which he would trace from the verse in the Torah to the Mishna,
Talmud and Rishonim (early commentators) and then proceed to analyze the
question conceptually using the classic Brisker methodology. He would then
move on to a more philosophical question and approach it using both the
traditional medieval Jewish philosophers as well as general philosophy, both
classic and modern. Then came the Mussar, the ethical lessons and his
message to the community. Now he had everyone’s attention. His thesis was
always relevant, powerfully communicated and directed at inspiring his
congregants to take their Jewish observance and ethical living to the next
level. Ultimately his message was taken seriously not only because it was so
well presented and grounded in Torah and scholarship but also because it
came from a man so genuinely humble and free of ego or personal agenda.
To satisfy my internship requirement for rabbinical school I asked Rabbi
Grunblatt if I could start a Beginners Prayer Service for those with less of
a background and whether he would serve as my mentor. The Rabbi graciously
agreed and for the next three years I had the privilege of working under
Rabbi Grunblatt’s guidance at the QJC. I plastered the neighborhood with
flyers and took some ads out in the local papers. On the first week eight
people showed up for the service but the Rabbi was encouraging and
thankfully the minyan started to grow. He would come in towards the end of
the service to share a word of Torah and then served as the “guest lecturer”
at my first Basic Judaism series. He taught me how to kasher a kitchen and
answered my endless halachic questions. But there was one student who I
couldn’t seem to help: A gentleman named Vladamir, a Ph.d in Mathematics
from the University of Leningrad would rise to his feet, almost every
Shabbat at the Beginners Service, and ask me some question relating to math,
physics, science and the Bible. Vladamir was off-the-charts brilliant who
believed in only what could be scientifically proven and I was supposed to
somehow reconcile every discrepancy he saw between modern science and
classical Judaism. I was all of 22 and feeling very unqualified. Somewhat
despondent I asked Rabbi Grunblatt to step in. He met with Vladamir and
after the meeting the Rabbi called me to give some encouragement: “Mark, you
know you did in fact accomplish something positive with Vladamir” “What’s
that”, I asked?: “Well” answered the Rabbi, “before Vladamir started coming
to the Beginners Service he was convinced that only foolish people believed
in God”. “well, he still dosen’t believe in God”, continued the Rabbi, “but
now he believes there are intelligent people who do and that is a measure of
To this day I am convinced Vladamir only said that after he met with Rabbi
Rabbi Grunblatt was a rare combination of Yirat Hashem and profound
religiosity on the one hand and intellectual openness on the other. I always
knew it was a rare privilege to be mentored by such an erudite scholar but
what was even more special was his sense of chesed, of kindness and concern
which he displayed for all people and in particular, his congregants. When
an elderly and very proud single congregant refused the rabbi’s offer for
help he called my mother, of blessed memory, to strategize and intervene. He
in turn was there for our family when our mother fell ill and the sadness I
know he himself felt when she died helped to console me. My mother’s
association with and admiration of Rabbi Grunblatt remains another strong
connection that I had with the rabbi and another reason why his passing is
so difficult and personnel for me, not to mention how hard I worked on
trying to impress him.
I so wanted the Rabbi to be proud of me.
I wanted him to know that I was internalizing what he taught me and that his
profound teachings not only had an impact on me but on my students as well.
I wanted him to know that all the time and effort he spent on me would
somehow benefit others. In fact that was the last thing I ever said to him.
I called before Rosh Hashanna to wish the Rabbi a good year and
unfortunately he was in a lot of pain and so I said: “Rabbi I’m so sorry
you’re so uncomfortable and I know you’re not in a position to teach but the
drashot (sermons) I prepared for Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur contain so
many of your insights, so much of what you taught me”. He seemed to
appreciate what I said but was having a hard time talking and so I
continued: “Rabbi, you know I would never have been able to teach or know
any of this if it wasn’t for you. Please know that hundreds of my students
at MJE will be hearing your Torah over the next few days”. Clearing his
throat Rabbi Grunblatt responded: “Thank you…be mazliach…I’m very proud”.
I thanked him and told him I loved him and that was the last conversation we
I was truly blessed to have Rabbi Grunblatt in my life. Every class I
teach, every sermon I deliver, and every question I try to answer has and
will always be informed by what this great Rabbi taught me. And so he truly
does live on. Tzadikim b’misasan nikra chayim – “The righteous in their
death are still called living”, remarked the Sages of the Talmud. I will
sorely miss my beloved Rebbe but his teachings and life example will live on
The goal of our synagogues and Jewish institutions today must be to demonstrate this balance of reverence and joy; fealty to tradition with personnel meaning and relevance. Jewish educators need to be better trained to invest more explanation and inspiration into our prayer services and provide greater depth and insight as to how living a life of Torah can actually improve our lives and make us happier and more fulfilled people.
After just completing MJE’s Annual Trip to Israel I’ve got much to say about
this place and its impact on those who visit. Between our two groups there
were about forty participants in their 20’s/30’s. We traveled from up north
in the Golan and the mystical city of Tzfat (home to Kabbalah) to Jerusalem. We spent time visiting holy sites such as The Kotel (Wailing Wall), the City of David and the holy city of Hebron. And though this is the thirteenth consecutive year I have led this trip, with some of the same sites year after year, Israel never fails to inspire me.
The breathtaking views we saw as we hiked the waterfalls in the Golan, the magical and mystical feeling of Tzfat as we walked the narrow passageways, and the extraordinary archeology and spirituality of Jerusalem filled us all, newcomer and veteran alike, with a sense of awe, history and purpose that no other “Jewish experience” can match.
|My wife, myself, and two MJE participants on the bus going to see the sights!|
What is it the power of this country to inspire? A power that has propelled
today’s most important Jewish philanthropists to invest 100 million dollars
per annum on the most ambitious outreach project ever– Birthright Israel.
There are many factors that contribute to the awesome impact Israel has on
us all. The youth, vibrancy and fast paced growth of this young country are
just so compelling. Everywhere you go there is building and construction;
young people come from all over the world and settle the land. I spent
this past Shabbat in Ranana visiting my cousins who made aliyah, only to see
thousands of others in their community who have done the same. More singles
and families keep coming, building beautiful homes and bringing a spirit
that is simply contagious.
Israel will never fail to inspire because it has got the goods, and I don’t
mean Israel’s phenomenal technology and innovation. It’s got that too and
yet another source of pride (my kids were blown away by Tel Aviv’s
skyscrapers) but more importantly it’s got our history and heritage right
here for us to see, feel and touch.
The sense of Jewish pride one feels when seeing a chayal, an Israeli
soldier, patrolling a street, also makes a huge impact. We brought our group
as we do each year to an army base and we had lunch with the soldiers.
“Strong but humble” would be the best way to describe the special people we
met there. You felt in these young men a definitive sense of pride and
purpose in defending their country, without the glorification of war or
violence that often goes hand in hand. You felt that under better
circumstances these soldiers would prefer to be somewhere else but given the
reality there’s nowhere else they’d want to be. At the end of our visit I
gathered our group together with the soldiers at the base to recite the
mishebereach l’chayayalei tzahal, the blessing we say each Shabbat for the
IDF, and as I began, one soldier put his hand on the head of another soldier
who didn’t have a helmet or kippah. He responded to the prayer by saying
amen and then a sweet thank you, to which I responded: “no, thank YOU, not
only for your service but for filling us with such pride”.
Despite these wondrous experiences, I still must say that what I believe most profoundly impacts the Jewish “visitor” to Israel is the realness. As I said to our group at Shabbat Dinner as we sat overlooking the Kotel, so much of the Judaism we grew up with in America sounds like fairytales; sweet stories of our ancestors and heritage that may or may not be real or true at all. But when you come to Israel and you walk the streets, you touch the stones, you see the archeology and for the first time you are presented with some kind of real physical imagery of these stories. It all starts to come alive. As the old T-Shirts used to read: “Israel is Real”.
|The Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem and I as I asked him questions during “Rabbi Roundtable.”|
Our history literally is this place. It’s not just a nice story. And so for the diaspora Jew, Israel is the ultimate authentication and validation of Jewish history and of our Jewish heritage, and THAT impacts us.
That, my friends, is inspiring no matter how many times you see it.
A number of years back there was a NY Times article which discussed the current dating scene for the many 20’s and 30’s of New York City. The article discussed how on one hand many people in this age group are looking for real relationships, not just a one night stand, but on the other hand still value their independence and not having to commit to one person on a permanent basis. I was having this conversation with a colleague, Rabbi Ari Berman, who said that to defeat the sense of existential loneliness we naturally posses, we must be with someone who both understands and accepts us for who we are. However being in a relationship with someone who really “gets you” can only happen if you’re willing to open yourself up so the other can understand you and more importantly, accept you for who you really are. The only way for that to happen is to expose and reveal oneself so that the other person can truly know you.
|Rabbi Mark officiating at MJE Couple Jen and Gaby Minsky’s Wedding|
This blog seeks to cover topics that are relevant to young Jewish professionals and every week or so I will be publishing my thoughts on topics such as health and happiness, food, philanthropy, professional advancement, sexuality, relationships, style, and of course upcoming events at MJE. My focus will be to relate as to how these topics are relevant not only to the teachings of Judaism but how we can use what the Torah teaches to better our everyday lives when it comes to these subjects and more. I welcome not only your feedback but your suggestions on these issues. In the coming days, please tell me what you’d like to see more of, less of, anything that is of interest to you, or just leave a comment about how you think I’m doing. Everything will be considered and appreciated. Thanks so much and I look forward to undertaking this journey with you all.
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